Difficult Situations: An Invitation Inward

Much of the guidance on leading anti-racism work is focused on the strategies for creating change in our institutions and communities. Which is appropriate, as this is our goal. But what we often overlook in this journey is the practice and work to heal, and resource ourselves to work through the difficult dilemmas that we inevitably face as champions for racial justice. Our ability to stay grounded and deepen our resiliency what enables us to stay in this work for the long haul, be well, and build loving community together across difference. Which I hope, we also share as a goal.

The work we do for and on ourselves is critical preparation and protection for the difficult moments we encounter in this work. It is not a question of IF you will encounter difficult moments, but rather when and to what degree.

Building Our Foundation

Before we even encounter a difficult moment, we can invest in ourselves and our readiness for that moment by building our foundation. How you do this will be unique to you based on your cultural traditions and preferences. It often takes the form of activities that help us practice being present in the moment, rather than numbing out. This can look like meditation, prayer, mindful eating, or sitting with presence in conversation with people we love. It is also the work we do to support our nervous system. This may look like eating nutritious food, taking time to truly rest, and moving our bodies in ways that help us release stress or restore energy.

Acknowledge the Moment(s)

When we encounter difficult moments, it is important to not attempt to bypass the moment through numbing or “brushing it off” but to allow yourself time to and space explore what you think about it, what emotions you feel, and how it feels in your body. In this process we may come to recognize that we are not just feeling this moment – but may also be feeling all of the other moments we have ever witnessed or experienced harm, especially the moments where that harm was not addressed or repaired. We may also come to recognize the ways our bodies are able to register threats or possible harm based on the trauma or harm that our ancestors experienced. It’s not only okay to make space to feel these things, its important. The less we bypass these feelings, the more we are able to resource ourselves toward healing and resistance. The more we deny or bypass these feelings, the more likely we are to experience them as physical and emotional symptoms, resulting in ongoing harm.

Calling on Each Other

Building our foundation is also the work we do daily to build loving and reciprocal relationships and community. One of the most important things we can do when we are faced with difficult situations is to remember that we are not alone. We need each other in this work. Our bodies are not meant to regulate alone, especially given that the pain that we may feel and encounter in this work is often significant. When we share our story with people who care about us, they can help carry the load (on our hearts and our bodies). It is important to have friends, co-workers, loved ones, or allies you trust that you can share your story with. Sometimes you will need more than an empathetic ear, you may need a thoughtful partner to help you figure out your next steps or a trusted ally who can intervene to interrupt.

(re)Resource Yourself

When we encounter difficult moments, especially ones that may trigger big or deep emotions, it's important to take time to resource your heart and your body beyond your ‘foundation building’ efforts. Again, what that is for you will be unique to you. Activities that resource are often activities that help people feel connected to spirit, community, and the earth. This could be taking time to appreciate nature or spending quality time with loved ones. It could be reading inspiring works of speculative fiction, making art, or watching a documentary about something that inspires you. It can help to keep a list of things that resource you so you can lean on that list when you need it.

Reject Urgency, Demand Movement

One of the guiding principles that we lean on often in our EDI work at Future Work Design is ‘Reject Urgency, Demand Movement.’ When we are faced with a difficult decision or situation, it can be easy to confuse our own stress or anxiety with a sense that something must be done now - with urgency. And while there are certainly moments that call for our swift and urgent intervention, most often, what we need is thoughtful and grounded action. The more ‘foundation’ we have built, and the more trusted partners we can lean on, the more likely we are to be able to tell the difference. When we reject urgency, we give our body time to re-regulate our nervous system, and to act from a place of renewed sense of safety and purpose.

An Invitation Inward

The work of anti-racism is not just a call to engage out in the world of community; it is also a call to reach more deeply into ourselves. Every act we take on behalf of the world to create a more fair, just, and humane world must be mirrored by our efforts to treat ourselves with love and care. It is through this balance of loving kindness towards ourselves and love for one another that we will change the world.